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Managing Anger (and other difficult emotions) during your job search
Yesterday morning I had a consultation with rabbinical graduate from England who had underwent tremendous hardship over the past year The tone of his voice made it clear that he was on edge. At one point he snapped at me “can you just tell me what I should do to make my resume better?”
Later that evening I attended a workshop given by Shakti Gawain. For those of you who unfamiliar with her name, Shakti Gawain is a pioneer in the field of self-help and author of the Creative Visualization, the book that launched the Law of Attraction movement. Her writing has both comforted and taught me about myself during difficult times. As a result I have learned to trust my intuition and to become a loving wife, family member, friend and supportive. effective career coach.
The contrast between the morning and evening events motivated me to share my thoughts and insights about fear and the job search.The most important thing to know about fear (or any other difficult feelings) is these are normal emotions that need to be expressed. Fear alerts you to potential danger. What you do with your feeling is within your control.
If you who have relocated from another county and find yourself suddenly unemployed you may experience intense emotions due to factors such as being transferred and then let go or not being able to be with family and friends during this difficult time.
Like my friend the rabbi who incidentally sent me an email to apologize, you might take you anger out on those who reach out to help you or you might sink into a state of despair, the other side of anger. You may become pushy and nearly stalk hiring managers, recruiters, or anyone who may know of a job for you.
Regardless of how angry or upset you are, at some point you will have to come to accept your circumstances and recognize you have the power change that. Incidentally, I have noticed the people who do this with grace find employment faster than those who get stuck in their emotions.
So how do you step out of your funk? The answers may sound silly, too easy, or even Polyannaish. However, I promise you will get the results you either want or need.
If work does not come as quickly as you’d like embrace the opportunity to look inside yourself and see what needs to be done. The following combines ideas that were shared by Shakti Gawain and what I have found to be true for other who have been there:
- We all create our own experience of reality, what is yours?
- The more conscious you can be about the process the better you will become at making it happen.
- Imagine what you want as if it were already there.
- Use affirmations such as “I am gainfully employed” “I love my work” or “I am an excellent Project Manager and I am handsomely rewarded for my work.”
- Emotions cannot be controlled. Find a safe place where you can feel your feelings. If you think you are in danger of hurting yourself or have any sign of clinical depression get professional help immediately.
- Recognize and acknowledge your inner critic / demon.
- Reassure your inner critic / demon that things will be fine. He / she is a the young child in you who wants to be heard, loved and cared for by you.
- Tap into your inner wisdom. What advice would you give to a friend? Give it to yourself.
- Stick with the winners, these are the people who are where you want to be. Ask them for advice such as what they did to achieve their goals.
- Stay positive. Ask for Help. Read self help books, get a job search buddy, attend workshops that inspire you, find a coach or mentor to help you develop the skills and tools you need to be successful in your job search.
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Passion by any other name is still passion
About a year ago a client who had an NT temperament (for those of you unfamiliar with the Myers Briggs Type Indicator or the Keirsey Temperament Sorter, individuals with an NT temperament are the Rationals and tend to be logical and philosophical) commented “the better the question, the better the answer in response to my rephrasing of a coaching question. I was reminded of this when twice in the past week two of my clients asked me what other words they could use in place of “passion.”
Passion is often used to describe the skills, target markets, or business role that a candidate is interested in doing as in “I have a passion for coaching international executives”. However, the people who asked me this question wanted more than to sound good. They wanted to be authentic (a trait that impresses hiring managers) in their verbal and written communications.
Given the frequency of the question, it occurred to me that you, too, might wonder what other ways you can say passion. Here are some ideas:
- Love
- Driven
- Mission
- Calling
- Compelled
- Energized .
- I can’t wait to…
- What I was born to do.
- Natural talent
- Excited by
- Attracted
- Magnetized
You are welcome to post your own words for passion. 
The twists and turns of a career transition, a case story
What your career might look like
It’s an exciting time when a client whom I have been working with reaches their goal. Such was the case yesterday when Mary (not her real name) had her final coaching meeting with me.
During our initial meetings Mary, an educator, told me she was so unhappy with her job, particularly lesson planning, that she frequently woke during the night feeling worried and anxious. Her goal was to make a career change that would value her dual experience as a teacher and psychotherapist. She made it clear that after earning two masters degrees, she would not go back for additional training.
Despite having a good sense of herself, Mary no longer knew what she enjoyed doing, a feeling that is common amongst people who have had the same employer for many years.
To regain contact with her authentic self our meetings focused on her strengths, interests, strengths, values and the types of people she wanted to work with. she said the meetings helped her overcome the erroneous belief that she had to be great at lesson planning.
Once she was clear on what she wanted to use in professional tool chest, I administered the Myers Briggs assessment. Yesterday, she shared the “insight process” (her description of the career exploration phase) was one of the most beneficial things we addressed.
With a stronger understanding of her career direction, Mary explored opportunities as a family / parent educator. We created a powerful resume. She embraced networking, built a strong support network and career advisory team. During our weekly meetings she enthusiastically shared what she accomplished between coaching.
Within a month of using several of the job search strategies I recommended she landed an interview. In the weeks that folllowed she one of two candidates that were being considered. While she did not got an offer, she later acknowledged that the population the position served was not the best fit for her.
As Mary navigated her way through interviews, one-on-one networking meetings, and other activities news of Bernard Madoff ‘s ponzie scheme broke. Overnight opportunities dried up and Mary decided to refocus her efforts on her existing position.
Fortunately for Mary, her supervisor left the organization and a consultant who she got along with, took her place. The new director recognized Mary’s strengths and was anxious to help her develop her talents.
Nearly 18 months after Mary engaged me she is still working for the same organization as a teacher. However, her job is no longer the same. Using a combination of insights gained during the coaching process and the support of her new supervisor Mary recreated her postion. Currently Mary is pursuing training in several practices that compliment her psychotherapy background.
At the end of our last coaching meeting she said she had grown both professionally and personally. She no longer worries about the future instead she embraces each day confident in the knowledge she is exactly where she needs to be.
9 Reasons for Sales People to Become Tech Savvy
Recently, I noticed, the tightening of Corporate America’s belt has thrown business development and sales professionals into a state of anxiety.Once charged with revenue production, a sales professional must add technology skills to a resume that is heavily studded with terms such as business development, cold calling, sales negotiation and contract closing.
My neighbor recently cried to me that she was not sure what she was going to do because she had come to rely on sales assistants and other members of the sales support team to do things like writing a letter and tracking her accounts in the company’s database. In her new position she is responsible for handling both the front and back end of the sales process. Failure to become tech savvy may cost her her job. Should she she increase both her skill set she will increase her marketability.
If you are someone who prefers to work with people as opposed to things there are a few things that you need to know about the new technology:
- Accept it, technology has become the backbone of most successful organizations.
- If you can operate the ATM machine at your bank, you have proven you know how to operate a computer.
- Face your fears. What is it about operating a computer that frightens you the most? What can you do about it? What will you do about it?
- Almost every adult education program, local library and college offers classes in technology. Find one and register. It will help you expand your skills and increase your network as well.
- Get individual support. Invest in hiring a computer trainer to come to your home or office.
- Sharpen your skills by signing up for an online course.
- Focus on what you do know and build on it.
- www.dummies.com provides easy-to-follow tutorials for independent learners. Click on the “see all topics” menu on the home page for a topic that is of interest to you.
- Switch to a Mac. They are much easier to use and are less likely to get a virus then a PC. Classes are held at most Apple store
MyCareerCoach Learns Cutting Edge Career Management Strategies
I am excited to share with you that I was one of 150 career practitioners who attended the 2010 Career Thought Leaders Conference & Symposium at the Hyatt Regency Hotel in Baltimore, March 22-24, to learn cutting-edge career strategies, trends and solutions to help you take better control of your career.
With unemployment rates at historic highs and rapid changes in how companies source candidates, it is essential that you be fully equipped to help job seekers manage a full-throttle job search efficiently and effectively.
While resumes are still a must-have document for job seekers, they are only the tip of the iceberg. Every speaker at the conference urged attendees to become career communications managers who can equip people like you with social media profiles, personal branded bios, electronic career portfolios and other next-generation documents.
Additional conference content focused on social media and online identity, two critical areas for success in today’s job market. Whether or not you are in a job search, it is important to contribute powerful, relevant content about your industry or area of expertise. Actions like this will you help you attract recruiters, hiring managers to your Twitter, FaceBook and LinkedIn pages.
A day-long program on career coaching and job search coaching ended the conference. The knowledge I gained now allows me to provide innovative techniques and up-to-date information to empower and assist you in finding meaningful work.
Please call me if you have any questions.
